Homework: Wyrd Warfare

Intern Steve Graduates to Editor Chris

So don’t go easy on him!

Do you have a short story involving zombie trench warfare in 1910s Europe? Are you still jonesing for battle werewolf action? Dragons defending London during The Blitz? Elves lurking along the Ho Chi Min Trail?

Boy, have we got an anthology for you!

“Bigfoot no more pick up cigarette butts! Bigfoot not even smoker!”

Wyrd Warfare is all about warfare with a fantastical bent. What’s really behind the tradition of classifying lost submarines as “Still on Patrol?” Did alchemists tip the balance at the 1565 Great Siege of Malta, or, for that matter, in 1942?

Let’s talk brass tacks about what we’re looking for this time. These stories need to present a genuine military problem, in addition to the action, adventure, gore, and more. You can go up and down the levels of war. Use inspiration from a favorite wargame. Put on your general’s thinking cap, or your platoon sergeant’s, or your flight lead’s.

(Firepower, by Den Beauvais)

Whether it’s a monster, whether it’s occult knowledge, a cursed relic, or arcane technology from Lemuria, it must cause a military problem and generate a military response. Do this in such a way relevant to whatever sticky wicket you’ve dropped your poor bast…characters into.

Anyone can write about a werewolf slaughtering a platoon of GIs in the woods for some popcorn fun and gore. In many cases, you can replace that werewolf with anything else—aliens, ghosts, serial killers, vampires—and it’s the same thing…oh, but with a clever little twist. You can even change the era or location! Oooh, clever!

“This is why you don’t give the LT the compass!”

Not really. That’s still the same story, and it’s not really a warfare story, it’s just another monster/slasher story with more guns than usual.

Look, folks, Predator and Aliens have already been done, and sometimes even exceptionally well. Day of the Dead and related films had military characters, but they weren’t weird warfare stories.

We don’t want “a little twist.” If you’re doing a werewolf story, show us what that means from a military perspective. Tactical, operational, strategic, whatever. We’re not looking for World War Z here, but we want you to have a good think on the subject.

All the mermaids say, “Brandy, you’re a fish-girl. What good wife you would be…”

Hopefully, these awesome works of art by our own Raconteur staff help get the gears grinding away!

“It’s okay! It hates the Air Force more than us!”

Here’s some source material to help get the juices flowing, as well!

Lately, everybody seems to want to talk about were-critters of various kinds, especially vulpine. As this volume’s editor, I’ll say it right here: were-stories are fair game, but you’re going to have a high bar to clear.

By Robert R. McCammon, Fair use

Or this

Here’s some other sources of inspiration for you—have fun!

Start here: “B-17” from 1981’s Heavy Metal.

“The Mission” from Steven Spielberg’s Amazing Stories.

I’m not the world’s biggest zombie fan, but I gotta hand it to TV back in the day for pulling off something like this.

There’s quite a bit of zombie fiction in general that could qualify as “weird war.” Day by Day Armageddon fits the theme because it’s more than an individual survival story.

Comic Books have been in this game for a long time.

Even Roald Dahl and Disney have been in the act!

Just a few more and we’ll be done!

If you want to go on a trip, read Mark Geston’s The Books of the Wars. I’m not even sure if it’s possible to classify it as “good,” but it is one hell of a trip.

Last but certainly NOT LEAST, let’s talk about the granddaddy. If you do feel a need to jump out and immediately engage with a story, then this is the one.

Take notes. James Cameron certainly did.

Of course, none of this is meant to be read/watched RIGHT NOW!

However, look for something that inspires your take on this. You’re not alone, but you are joining a proud tradition! Good hunting!