22 Comments
User's avatar
Dale Flowers's avatar

Gah, Mister Großkoph, John 20:24-29, KJV, 1611. He who laughs last laughs less when he meets the bouncer at the Pearly Gates. Just sayin'. ☺

Johnny Oh's avatar

09:57 Fire watch rounds completed. Nothing to report. 😁

Dale Flowers's avatar

I remember making the rounds checking on the fire watches in the bowels of our Frigate after taps when we were in the Long Beach Naval Shipyard back in '85. Some things can never be unseen. I was told to not report on it too. You doing OK now, Johnny? I'm not proud of it, but I think my promotion to CWO3 was somehow connected to my silence. :(

Johnny Oh's avatar

As okay as I can be, thanks for asking.😀 Anyone who ever stood a Naval watch, knows exactly what I was referring to, and has done it themselves. I never thought to ask the other branches if they log "everything" like the Navy does.

Dale Flowers's avatar

I doubt the other services log [REDACTED] like we did, Johnny. I recall sitting a watch back in '67 on a HUK Group ASW HF circuit for hours, days, weeks in 4 hour shifts, pen in hand ready to write, listening for [REDACTED] trying to glean it from the warbles, static and [REDACTED] in the background. Also on the AN/BLR-1B Superhetrodyne Intercept Search Receiver in Motor Tune mode across 8 bands, 90 to 10,750MHz looking for [REDACTED]. Every [REDACTED] got logged, even the dross. The CIC log, the Deck log, the SAU/CI log, the Pri-Tac log, [REDACTED] log, the many other green cloth-bound log books...sacrosanct tomes kept by dedicated [REDACTED] monk-like [REDACTED] in the service of our ship, our Navy, our nation and [REDACTED] (PBUH, her, them or it). [REDACTED] just don't understand the ethos, the bond...the sworn to secrecy duty of we the [REDACTED], do they, Johnny? If we ever told them [REDACTED] would have to [REDACTED] them. Yeah. Those logbooks are probably next to the Ark of the Covenant in some warehouse in Maryland now. I cope in knowing that in 50-75 years our great-great grandkids will get a letter of appreciation for [REDACTED] from [REDACTED]. :(

Johnny Oh's avatar

You know the pressure is getting so much I'm worried I will finally break and reveal [REDACTED]. Must. Stay. Strong. >X^\

Dale Flowers's avatar

Stay strong, Johnny, I know all about the pressure and breaking. I've been on Metformin for 20 odd years. And while I have a passing knowledge of steganography I couldn't decode >X^\. Am rusty after 35 years.

(Ps-t-t-t... Please go back channel via Western Union Ckt 1012B in Navajo cursive or at [REDACTED] for plain text. m'kay. I'm not into playing Stump the Chump games, my good friend. And a reminder: OPSEC. OPSEC. OPSEC.)

Johnny Oh's avatar

What is the new code? Stupid machine. This one is too old. No don't transcribe or send

Johnny Oh's avatar

I'm sorry, Sir. Upon further reflection, I realized that the ARCHANGEL watches over us poor bilge rats. You are safe in the wardroom, Sir. I remain faithful. My ANGEL is here to protect me. 🙂

Jay Logan's avatar

I love starting my day with humorous articles like this.

Nick H's avatar

What a bunch of [expletives redacted].

Dale Flowers's avatar

Matthew 8:26, KJV 1611, special white buck leather, zippered Walmart edition, 1984. Read yer Bible, Nick.

Greg Radabaugh's avatar

I can neither confirm nor deny what is contained in these files. What I can say is [REDACTED].

Dale Flowers's avatar

Sadly, Weekly World News, that famous weekly investigative newspaper is defunct and I think all their archives burnt up in a warehouse fire. But I seen plenty of stories about aliens doing ____ probes on kidnapped victims. Where's the justice for them? I feel their pain...been there myself with five collernoscopies and two prostrate biopskies. It weren't pretty. If you got any information at all, Greg, for the love of God, do your duty and give it up.

Greg Radabaugh's avatar

Sorry, the best I can do is confirm that they were only supposed to be doing annual exams, not anal. Apparently it was a typo in the SOP.

Dale Flowers's avatar

Yeah,"typo", [REDACTED], and anything kinda analogous to specious spelunking in uranus ...all bad ca-ca. And loosely...Proverbs 31/17: "Girdeth thy loins".

Eric Hinkle's avatar

The Weekly World News was always a fun and demented read. The last honest newspaper in America.

Qoheleth's avatar

Ah, yes, the notorious Area 51 Mad Libs sheets.

Dale Flowers's avatar

That's [REDACTED}. Do you even OPSEC? ☺

Dale Flowers's avatar

Am going dark now. My OPSEC OCD got triggered. I blame no one but [REDACTED]. DE D___ F______, AR.

Grumpy Libertarian's avatar

i read a selection of this to family in a back hills southern accent.. it was histerical. between laughter and comments of that just isnt right. im not sure if the accent or the story got the that just isnt right....... after seeing my comment, oldest daughter said it was the story.now im feeling sad that my accent didnt get more importance.. sigh..